Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

Growing up I would here the term fagot, homo, gay, or sissy. I never really thought much of it because you kind of since that some of your friends where gay or a lesbian. My best friend did not come out into she was in high school, but I don't think she actually knew what she was because at that time she would be considered bi-sexual and the correct term she would be considered a lesbian instead of just saying she is gay. I know for a fact that she wasn't like that at first and she just tried it to be tying it. I do have friends that have always known they where gay just did not want to come out because they where ashamed that they might disrespect their family, and friends.

I can remember one time in school my best friend who was a thick madam and I was pretty skinny myself people use to call us hamburger and hot dog to us this was funny and we didn't let anyone come between us. On this particular day I had been hearing about my friend being with another close friend and it was all over were we lived. People would talk about her, her mother kicked her out, and she basically lost a lot of respect from majority of our friends but not with me because she was still my best friend. I didn't see her gender preference all I saw was that this was my friend from childhood.

In society TV, videos, and magazines depict the way we should look, dress, and love. To me this type of media power influence us everyday especially when you don't know any better. If society, parents, and friends say it's not normal to be different people would actually fight against it and even commit violent acts. Calling another person any type of nasty word can carry with them throughout their life. I would here my uncle call their sons fagots if they did something that was something that a girl might do. I knew they didn't mean any harm but, I also knew that this did hurt my cousins because I would here my cousins say, "My dad keep calling me gay may be I would just become a fagot and tick him off." This was not funny because one of my cousins is gay and he told me, "Growing up the words really did hurt him and he did not know how to tell his dad." Well needless to say my cousin never told his dad he just let his dad assume what he wanted. They speak but it is vague, I fill for my uncle because my couisni is really a wonderful person. He have a great career as a semi-pro football player and he is finishing his Master's in Education.

Professional Journey

I would like to take the time to thank all my colleagues for their great post and comments. Being in Early Childhood or any professional field you have to learn to communicate effectively. This course have helped me because I work for Head Start our new director main focus was on professionalism and effective communication. He maid a big point that when parents, clients, and even our peers come for help or just information your first impression is your lasting impression. I know for me I try to watch what I say and how I say it because sometimes I can come off as being little aggressive. The knowledge that I have gain in this class I am able to use this experience throughout my life to help in my personal as well as my professional carer. In this field it takes collaboration between the parents, community, and the educators to achieve the same goal.

Adjourning Phase

Yes, high-performing groups are the hardest to leave because you learn so much from these groups.  Groups with the clearest established norms are easier to accomplish the given goals.  I feel that once the goals have been met, it is hard to break from such a dynamic environment.

I was in a work group at my previous job and this group was one of the hardest to leave.  This was a job that I absolutely loved.  I worked a daycare as head VPK teacher and assisted director.  The daycare consisted of wonderful woman from variety of places. We all got along pretty well and when we did have problems we talked about it, sometimes we could be pretty loud but our main focus was on the safety and well being of our children and making sure that we provide a safe, loving, and educational atmosphere. This job really helped me with my communication skills because I was their second in command and they respected that because I was always prepared and very knowledgeable about my job. My job could be very stressful at times but I wouldn’t trade it for nothing in the world considering other day cares were being shut down due to over ratio, paper work out of order, and workers not incompliance with their paperwork. My supervisor was very nice and very easy to work for.  I stayed at this job for over 4 years off and on. The only reason I left because I opened my own center.

I really haven’t experienced any closing rituals amongst groups except one, this is when I was finishing my B.A in elementary education I remember the last day of class, and everyone brought in a dish to celebrate the end of our journey.  We ate, looked back on projects and shared experiences.  At the end, we all promised to keep in touch.  However, I never reached out to anyone and no one has reached out to me.  However, if I saw them now, I would probably find out how their career was going since leaving the course.  Many times, either the group’s goal is met or the group just disseminated.  In learning environments, the closing rituals are normally followed with a graduation ceremony.

I feel that my colleagues established here at Walden University will be hard for me not to be able to read on what’s going on with them and their journey in Early Childhood Education and I know for myself I can get pretty busy at times because I have my own business, church activities, and being with my family. The experience I have had since starting on line classes have been wonderful especially all the feedback and great suggestions in early childhood have really helped my business in becoming an high quality center. I have enjoyed the communication with all of my group colleagues and I value everyone’s input, suggestions, and experiences.

Adjourning is essential to me because it signals closure and allows people to recognize the good and bad things that happened in order to improve group communication in other groups to come.  It also gives people the opportunity to “reflect on their accomplishments and failures as well as determine whether the group will disassemble or take on another project.”(O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009, p 235)

O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. p.235 (2009) Real communication an introduction. 

Observing Communication

This week assignment was challenging because I work with a great group of woman so I decided to observe communication between and adult and a child. During my observation I will be looking for examples of effective communication and strategies that seem to foster effective communication. I was surprised at what I observed in my first attempt-I saw some very ineffective communication! This was really eye-opening to me and so I included it here along with the effective communication I did observe in my second attempt.

Observation 1:

I observed a mom communicating with her daughter in the parking lot of a grocery store. The daughter was around 15 years old. I noticed when the mother would talk to her daughter she was very loud, and using a lot of cursing words. The daughter would try to say something and she would get cut off and the mother would continue screaming and using vulgar language towards her daughter. From my understanding the daughter was supposedly had stolen out of the store but nothing was found on her. Her mom didn’t believe her she just started in on her verbally abusing her saying, “You keep this up you going to grow up and be just like your older sister in and out of jail.”

I was so shocked at what I was hearing, there was definitely a lot that could have been improved on and changed to make the communication between the mom and her daughter more effective and affirming. Communicating with a child is different than communicating with adult; their speech and body language differs, we have to stop and truly listen to what they are saying (and what they are not saying) to effectively communicate with them. For example, the mother did not give her chance to speak and the store they were at a hair store the owners follow you around as if everyone is a thief. Another thing she could have done in order to communicate more effectively with her was for her to calm down and before accusing her go ask the owner the reason why they thought she may have stolen something and if not talk to her about stealing and the consequences when you display this type of behavior. Putting her down in front of people especially using fowl language really could affect her self-worth

Observation 2:

I observed a teacher and a child communicating on the play ground. I noticed that the teacher seemed very responsive to the child and was focused on the conversation that they were having and the child responded positively:

• Teacher kneld down to student so she was at his level and could make eye-contact

• Teacher addressed student by name, spoke quietly to him, and paused so he could respond. The teacher did not try to fill in the silence or give him words, she waited. At first the pauses were longer but then the child seemed to feel more comfortable and answered quicker.

• The teacher did not outright correct the child, she would repeat what he said correctly and push for further conversation:

This observation had a lot of examples of positive examples in the interaction between the teacher and child. The communication between the two was positive and seemed to be affirming for the child; the teacher truly seemed interested in what the child was saying and the child really seemed to respond to her communication strategies. I liked how the teacher waited for the child to respond, she did not rush him or take control of the conversation. This would be very validating to the child and help him build confidence with his speech and ideas.

I think that the way the teacher communicated with the child would encourage his sense of self-worth. I think that the child would feel that his ideas were important and worth listening to, the teacher was positive and encouraging which probably helped him feel validated and empowered.

Overhearing this communication between the mom and daughter was saddening, but it also reminded me of the importance of what we are learning: we can share what we know! I have received many compliments from my friends, family, and parents on my patience and how well I communicate with my students. Not everyone knows or understands the importance of communicating in an appropriate and positive way with young or children period. As an educator we can share the information we know with them. I have learned a lot from the articles we read this week and I know that there is room for improvement in my communication with young children. One area that I would like especially improve in is my “teacher talk;” I need to remember when I am speaking to my class the context that the child is in and the message that my words and body language are conveying. Listening to the conversation in my second observation between the teacher and child gave me some great ideas on how to communicate effectively and reminded me of the importance of taking the time to listen to the child without interrupting.

Evaluating Myself

Think about the similarities and differences between how you evaluated yourself as a communicator and how others evaluated you.What is the one thing that surprised you the most? Why? What other insights about communication did you gain this week?

I wasn't really suprised because about two weeks ago I did a communication style test and a self asessment on "How Good Are Your People Skills."
Website http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMM_36.htm

I know in my life I have come a long way. I use to be quick tempered and I would never look at things from both sides, I would just automatically assume or past judgement on another person not knowing them or their situation. Changing was a good thing for me because I was able to get Job on how well I was prepared and how well I presented myself. I had to do an self examination in order to be able to work on the way I communicate and treat others. With my friends, church family, and sorority sister I am known as being the peace maker because I always listen and I try not to past judgement but to figure out how we can get through this or even finding an better solution for all parties involve.

What I have learned so far is order for you to communicate effectively you have to be willing to listen, respect, and sometimes change the way you go about communicating to your peers, your families, and the children in early education.

Communicating Differently With Other Cultures

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures? Yes in a since because you have to understand depending on the culture their may be a slight accent in certain words they say so you have to give common courtesy and slow down when you speak or try not to interrupt what they are trying to say before you comment on what they are saying and sometimes they may express things with their hands to let you know what they are trying to say. I have a Spanish speaking parent and student in my class and I have to be patient with her so I don't scare her, or make anyone of them feel uncomfortable. I want them to know I appreciate them, and we both are learning from one another.

If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently? Some ways I communicate differently sometimes I have to slow down when I am speaking to make sure they understand what I am saying. I have to watch the language I am using like using slang words. My English needs to be clear that they understand me, and also try not to let stereotypes and things that I may have heard about the families or children influence my communication.

Three strategies you could use to help you communicate more effectively with the people or groups you have identified.

• Be patient when communicating with other groups.
• Be respectful
• Listen before you speak and watch hand gestures, facial and body language.

Communicating Skills and Styles

For the first time I had a chance to look at Mob Wives because my friend told me that it was really good.

What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?
Looking at the TV. I can tell their is something going on between the woman right off the back. Renee she seems nice but always seem to be crying and at times acts like she is really bad with the rolling of her neck and her loud talking from what I can make out. All the characters in this reality show look mean but they all are very verbal.

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing? Some of the woman seem to be expressing anger by throwing up their hands, pointing their fingers in their so called friends faces, crying, and hurt that was shown on the show from what it look like the mob wife Renee had a party and her friends got into a big fight and ruined her party. She was made, crying, and even using bad language.

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed? Looking at this program the woman are very loud, back stabbers, and even not so friendly towards one another. The woman do not know how to communicate very well because to much he say she say mess, no one really listening to one another and the only way they seem to get their poit across is by fighting one another or even word bashing each other.The woman in this show is very hostile.

Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well? No because some of the shows I watch they communicate by using their words not throwing punches, or even bashing one another and if they said something that hurt another person feelings the characters try to come back and apoloigize and figure out how they can communicate better.

In my experience in communication you have to be careful how you say things because people can precieve things the way they want to. Example If you are saying all the right things but your tone of voice and body language are saying something different your career progression will be stunted.
Consider this. when you meet soemone and they say 'hello' but do not smile and stand with head down and shoulders slouched - what is your initial response?
Now consider someone saying 'hello' smiling at you and standing up straight - what is your response?
They both said the same thing but their tone of voice and body languages were completely different. The person who was smiling and standing up straight will be received more openly than the other person. When I use to talk to my mom I use to stand slouched over. My mother would say to me stand up, smile, and let me see your eyes to let me know you are listening to me. I was almost like I was disrespecting her not looking at her the same applies with families, children, and even co-workers.